What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
