This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
