Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together