dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
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I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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