Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's when you crack a 10am beer

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  (206): That's when you crack a 10am beer http://tfl.nu/ppt1
  Replies (12) Good night (2673) Bad night (632)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts

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  (908): I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts http://tfl.nu/1w8r
  Replies (28) Good night (5040) Bad night (984)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study

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  (780): White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study http://tfl.nu/oth0
  Replies (28) Good night (3276) Bad night (745)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So for us it's double that?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Precisely.

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  (570): Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime. (717): So for us it's double that? (570): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/p9hg
  Replies (33) Good night (5018) Bad night (730)
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  (951): View more from California

  Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".

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  (951): Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try". http://tfl.nu/107g
  Replies (16) Good night (935) Bad night (5748)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (5003) Bad night (2735)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.

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  (505): While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0pt9
  Replies (9) Good night (4032) Bad night (978)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

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  (804): I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years. http://tfl.nu/h8vw
  Replies (8) Good night (1948) Bad night (746)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.

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  (416): Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse. http://tfl.nu/9wwo
  Replies (10) Good night (3437) Bad night (686)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Was who let the dogs out playing?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Ya. You started barking when it ended

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  (708): You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving. (1-708): Was who let the dogs out playing? (708): Ya. You started barking when it ended http://tfl.nu/fyl8
  Replies (4) Good night (1937) Bad night (489)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning

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  (513): I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning http://tfl.nu/nen4
  Replies (0) Good night (655) Bad night (345)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions

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  (905): he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions http://tfl.nu/h15i
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (453)
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  (714): View more from California

  I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it

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  (714): I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it http://tfl.nu/cek3
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (297)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it

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  (724): Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it http://tfl.nu/jbin
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (248)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?

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  (+66): How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai? http://tfl.nu/z73d
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (217)

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