wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
