I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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