stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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