Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
