She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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