Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
