dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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