I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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