i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize