Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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