i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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