Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
