Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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