guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
