Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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