Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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