also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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