After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
