I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
