I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
