Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Found the puke drawer
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
