we're making bets on your personal life
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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