lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize