watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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