I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
