Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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