awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
