Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
