Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
