I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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