Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
