in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize