It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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