I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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