hell yes lets make some ravioli
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
