I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
