he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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