Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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