i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize