Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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