i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I got chris browned last night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
