wakey wakey hands off snakey
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
