I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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