just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
