Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
