So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
