Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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