my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
