I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
