hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
