It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
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i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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