He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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