My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can't turn off my feet"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
