bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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