Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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