bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
