How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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