i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
